Oh girls, where do I begin? I have so fallen off the wagon with this study. Actually, I feel I have fallen of the wagon with God as well. I really can't go into it all now, but just know that there are some things happening in the Ingram family that has brought more chaos and heartbreak. Those things have made me aware that I need to get back on the wagon and stay on for the long haul...and not just with my weight, but with my RELATIONSHIP with Him.

Today my family will see how one's actions have consequences that not only effect him, but those who love him. (and we often think sin only effects that person.) I am angry and very disappointed in this individual to the point of not even being able to really talk about it-my anger or the situation-right now. At my core, I am begging God to help me work through this anger...at my core, I am asking God to heal my heart towards this person. It was during this time that I was so convicted at how God must be disappointed in me...of how He longs for me to do better, and how He longs for me to reach for His help when I need it. My heart was broken when I realized how I have been breaking His heart over and over again. I immediately was convicted and I long to do better...I don't want him to feel the disappointment that I am feeling now...both towards myself and to my family member. And like God, I need to show love and mercy, and yet give "tough love" at the same time. I know I am being watched by not only this person, but to all of those within my family, on how I am going to handle the situation.

I woke early this morning because I couldn't sleep due to this situation and what today will bring. I got up knowing I needed to spend time with the Lord...knowing He would speak to me if I would just listen. And He did. Through an email I received from Dennis Rainey, I opened to a sermon given on trust...who do we trust in times of chaos? What a title! Anyway, the article was talking about trusting the Lord in times of uncertainty...trusting that God has our best interest in mind, and trusting that we don't have to be afraid of what our day will bring. I open my bible to read Psalms 56:3-4
When I am afraid, I will trust in you. In God, whose words I praise, in God I trust, I will not be afraid.

It may not seem like the Holy Grail, but it spoke to me...He spoke to me! He took time to speak to me this morning! He took time to show me love and mercy in my disobedience to Him. What an awesome God we serve!

I don't know if I will be able to call you guys later...I will probably be in Evadale this afternoon as we have to discuss the "situation" with mom. The Grabers are in until the weekend and things are still crazy from the holidays. I'll call when I can...just be in prayer for me and I will fill you guys in later. Love you both!

Ah HA!

Okay girls, this isn't a spiritual blog, but one where the light did go off! Long story short, Paul surprised me with a dinner date the other night. I thought we were going to the company Christmas party, and instead ended up in Houston at my favorite restaurant. We were all dressed up and enjoying our time together without worrying about being mom and dad. This restaurant is upscale...a very prim and proper place...where it is way too expensive, but the food is well worth it. One of those places you go three times in your life, and that is if you're lucky. As I was sitting there, prim and proper, I was chewing my steak slowly and deliberately tasting it's full flavor. I didn't want anything else...just my steak...no sides, drinks, desserts. It was that good! And when something is that good, you want to savor every moment. There it hit me..."ah, this is what is supposed to be like." I didn't want to fill myself with other things. I didn't want to scarf it down...and while doing this I realized I was pleasantly filled....not too full. I SOOOOO enjoyed my dinner, and all the while, heard God say "this is what I'm trying to teach you." Wow...I had to share it with Paul immediately!!! There was no need to even stop and get dessert on the way home! It was wonderful. I've tried to practice "prim and proper"ness here at home...and I do have to say there is something to be said about doing that while eating Mac-n-Cheese. Not quite the same. :) With that being said...enjoy the flavors of the season...just in moderation and do it slowly! :) Merry Christmas to you both. I love you and pray God's blessings on you in 2009!

Power struggle

Today is fasting day. I just had my first Psalm snack of the day at 10:30, roughly. It is the first time in this round of the study that I sat down to have one. I was skeptical about getting anything out of it, but my prayer was just that I wanted to hunger for God more than food as my stomach was growling rather loudly at that moment.

The Psalm was Psalm 68. It was a bit lengthy and full of a whole lot of symbolic language that I cannot begin to put in its place and I will have to admit that I was getting a bit discouraged by all the goings on of mountains and kings and whatnot. However, the last verse was really all that I needed right now.

Verse 38 says, "O God, You are awesome from Your sanctuary. The God of Israel Himself gives strength and power to the people. Blessed be God!"

Whether that is strength to last through the temptations of licking the knife when making the sandwiches or just having one m&m or whatever it may be...I don't have the power. Whether it is getting up to spend time with Him or living life to glorify Him, whatever it may be...I don't have the power. The God of Israel has it and it is His to give.

• God, thank you for taking away the gnawing feeling in my stomach as I read your word. I did notice that. Thank you for being the power that you are even when I don't realize it. Please give Erin and me the strength for this fast and Sam, when she takes hers. Show us that YOU are the one who has the power over everything and it is YOURS to give to us, not ours to take control of. I needed to know that, but more importantly I need to truly understand and yield to that. Please help me in that and be that power to us today and every day.

We have won!

When I want to do good, evil is right there too. I should be delighting in God's law, but instead I am often held prisoner to the law of sin constantly at work within my body.

I so desperately want to continue with my "vulnerable time of day Psalm snack". It was so refreshing and encouraging when I did that last Friday. Now (excuses, excuses) being back home after being out of town, I feel like I need to reboot myself. Re-acknowledge that I need to focus on the afternoon and late evening as times to Psalm snack instead of snack snack. So, again, I commit to that today.

My mind does desire to be a slave to God's law, now God please help my "members" to show that today! I don't want to be of the devil and to continue in a pattern of what I have acknowledged so many times is sin.

We have a battle, but why don't we remember all of the time that we have won the battle through Jesus Christ??

1 John 1:20 "We know also that the Son of God has come and has given us understanding, so that we may know him who is true. And we are in him who is true—even in his Son Jesus Christ. He is the true God and eternal life."

Dear Lord,

Today please help me hold to the truth that Jesus Christ has won the battle over sin and death. Help me live like one who has won this battle, because I have in Him. Please help Michelle and Sam today too. Sick kids and general mom stuff can bog us down. Be with us today, Lord and give us strength. I love you.

Erin

The Christian Fast, Part 2

Confession: I am on the same week that I was on 2 weeks ago. Week 3 day 2. I have stayed up late causing me to be really tired in the mornings and so I don't get up. Right now, the wind is howling outside, it's cold, I'm super tired and I want to got to bed again. I have sick kids. I don't even have a Christmas tree up yet, guys. This is terrible. Well, not as terrible as my lack of growth lately, but you know what I mean.

I'm not even into this lesson. I started it last week and finished it just because I had to finish it. I lose heart when I don't grasp concepts and when I don' t feel like I'm getting it. That's where I am today. Discouraged about my spiritual life and yet still thinking about it all the time...all the time.

The passage was good today, but I went through it like book work. 1 Corinthians 6:12-20. I am sure I could get so much more out of this, but I will touch on verse 18. Our addiction to food, whether over eating or eating when not hungry or just eating too often, it is an affair we are having against God. If we look at a marital affair as infidelity against our husbands, then a food affair is infidelity against God. Why can't we see that?

Going back to that family where the husband left...don't you think that it can get easier and easier to some degree to continue in the affair? The longer he's involved, the quieter the Spirit can become. We have been involved with our food for years. It's high time we leave our "mistress" of sorts (though we aren't men...) and get with God.

• God, I confess that my heart isn't right and I don't know what to do about it sometimes. Myunworthiness is revealed daily, yet I somehow feel deserving of Your attention and correction. I so desperately want for you to grab a hold of me and shake some sense into me or awareness or something like that. I don't want sleep to be more important. I don't want kids to be more important. I don't want anything to be more important than you, but if you watch my life, all things are. More and more things in my life seem pointless and useless for furthering your kingdom and yet more and more time is spent doing these things. Grab us, Lord, and put in us a heart that wants You more than life itself. Forgive me of my sins. Forgive me when I don't even know what they are. Forgive me when I put everything before You. Make me make good choices so I can be more for You. Please do the same for Sam and Erin in their struggles. Thank you for our belief but please help our unbelief.

Thank you, Lord for a Mid-afternoon Victory

Hi ya girls.

Psalm 118:1 "Give thanks to the Lord, for He is good, His love endures forever!"

Now what is better than that for a little snack in the middle of the day? Nothing!

Plus, my water with fresh squeezed lemon actually tastes delicious right now.

Psalm 118:14 "The LORD is my strength and my song; he has become my salvation."

Dear Lord,
Thank you for small victories. May Michelle and Sam also have small victories today and thank and praise you in the midst of them.
Your child, Erin

Same old thing. . .

Okay, is there anything new under the sun? I am supposed to write down the time of day I often fail and cave in with food.

Mid afternoon and before bed.

Easy. I know this.

Number one: It is okay to eat during those times, but in a healthy way!

Number two: It is so embarrassing that I, in my sin, continue to be a prisoner to those times of day. Those are the particular times of day I should specifically set aside to Psalm snack. I just need to schedule that into my day. Duh. If I have time to eat, I have time to read my Bible!

Therefore, I commit to do that today. I will update you on how I did with this commitment. If I don't, well that just proves that I am continuing to be a slave to this sin.

Using Scripture to Fight Temptation

COMPARING TWO MEN

Cain - a man, first born, worked the soil, brought some fruits of the soil as an offering to the Lord, the Lord did not look on Cain and his offering with favor, Cain was angry and his face was downcast

Abel - born after Cain, Abel brought fat portions and some of the firstborn of his flock, the Lord looked with favor on Abel and his offering

Cain brought "some". The Bible doesn't indicate anything special about his offering. The Bible is quite clean that Abel brought his best.

The word picture of Genesis 4:7 is very powerful. Sin is crouching - like a hungry animal waiting to pounce on me. Sin itself is hungry for me. Thankfully, the Holy Spirit in us is more powerful than this temptation to sin. I can, we can, overcome temptation!

God has given us His word. When the enemy says:

"Just a little won't hurt."
"Go ahead, you can burn it off when you exercise."
"You deserve it."

I can say with the authority of God's word:

1 John 4:4 You, dear children, are from God and have overcome them, because the one who is in you is greater than the one who is in the world.

Genesis 4:7 "If you do what is right, will you not be accepted? But if you do not do what is right, sin is crouching at your door; it desires to have you, but you must master it."

1 Corinthians 10:13 No temptation has seized you except what is common to man. And God is faithful; he will not let you be tempted beyond what you can bear. But when you are tempted, he will also provide a way out so that you can stand up under it.

Therefore, there really is no excuse for continually falling into this sin.

God, forgive me for making my weakness an excuse when You have given all of Your children Your Holy Spirit and Your Word to fight our fleshly desires for food (or whatever sin) over you. May I use the awesome tools You have given to overcome, to master and to stand up under the temptation to satisfy my deep soul hunger with food. It never satisfies the way You do, Lord. Your Child, Erin

Ladies ~
I'm slow, I know, but I am trying to be steady. Today I did Week 2 Day 3. Today I am on a half day. I want to honor that today. I haven't really been planning my days (except fast day) like I should. I need to implement that this week. Please hold me accountable and ask me how I'm doing. Thanks!

The Biblical Fast

I'm not sure what it is about the fasting days, but they go by so fast. Actually, I am kind of guessing that it's no accident. When I have a busy day, it is next to impossible to do my study, let alone to sit and take in any "Psalms snacks" and take extra time to be still for God. That is my goal for the next fast. I was prayerful throughout the day, but not still long enough to hear anything.

First off is one of the verses for the week. I Corinthians 6:12 says "All things are lawful (permissible) for me but I will not be mastered by anything."

That verse alone should be able to give us so much freedom, but instead I believe it, at times, binds us even more. We go overboard in our "lawful" things instead of being thankful that we are "allowed" these things, for lack of better words.

I don't think I have ever leaned toward asceticism, which is what the Biblical fast is NOT. Asceticism denies the body completely and permanently of pleasure in order to attain a higher level of spirituality.

• John Piper explains the existence of a path between the path of asceticism and total indulgence and that is the path of "pleasant pain." We deny ourselves in order to break the chains that bind us, but also that we might know more of Christ. We give up food for a time so that we might HUNGER FOR GOD, so that we might know more of Christ.

There were 2 passages to look at today, but I will only brush on the first one. Colossians 2:6-8 is the first one in which we are exhorted to walk in Christ. (The second passage was Colossians 2:16-23). I used Tim's Complete Word Study of the New Testament to find out some of the Greek meanings and such for some of the words and the word for "walk" means to be occupied. We are to be occupied with Christ. I know we know that, but I'm just pointing it out. There's a bigger epiphany to come.

We can only be occupied with Christ if we are firmly rooted in Him, verse 7. Then the kicker for me was in verse 8 when we are warned against being spoiled or taken captive or as the word means in the Greek, SEDUCED.

Girls, do we let ourselves be seduced by other men away from our husbands? No. I fight to be preoccupied with Tim by being firmly rooted in him. Why then do I allow myself to be seduced, as it is, by food (chocolate) when there is Christ who can satisfy me? Following an affair never lasts. For the Christian, it is empty, lonely, painful, guilt-ridden...it doesn't satisfy like your spouse can. Chocolate, among other things for me, is empty, lonely, painful, guilt-ridden...it will not satisfy me like Christ can. The goal for me is to be thankful and content with less of the good thing and discontent with my consumption of Christ.

• God, I want to starve for you. I want the gnawing in my belly to shout that you are alive and I need to feast on you. Thank you that I didn't overdo it on the fudge yesterday, even though I broke the fast as I was making dinner. Grab hold of our hearts and our minds so we aren't seduced by the pleasures of this world; so that we are not preoccupied by them rather than by you. Thank you for Sam and Erin and their like desire to be overindulged with you. Please show each of us little victories that will keep us persevering in this race. We want to finish and be able to live as women of moderation, for your glory!!! Your unworthy child, Michelle.
  

All in a day's fast...

Yes, I am fasting. I need to keep this really short...I was going to call each of you, but I am behind schedule on things and just layed the kids down at 1:30 only to get them back up at 2:30ish to get the boys from school. Ugh! That means that after doing a un-noticeable amount of cleaning in the kitchen, I now have 30 minutes to sit and do my study. Therefore I cannot stay on this blasted computer for long. I will update soon, but in the meantime, I am thinking of you guys and am excited to see the stuff that's going on. Please pray for me as I will for you!

Fasting Today

Lord, as I fast today I desire to be with you. And while I rest my body from food, please purify it as well.

If I continually disobey God, not only am I disobedient, but I am a liar because I claim to have fellowship with Jesus. It is amazing how such things can truly squelch our witness for Christ! Thank God that if we confess - not only will He forgive, He will purify us. A lot of times, especially with food, I don't know if I get to that second step. It's like I don't trust that He will purify me. I know He will forgive, but He wants to purify me too!!

It isn't like I claim to be without sin. . . yet, I do. What I mean is, I avoid confronting the issue. If I don't step on the scale and see how much weight I've gained, or if I don't dwell on how much food I consumed, then I don't have to address the sin. I just sweep it under the rug and don't mention it to myself, God or others. Of course, it is still sin and avoiding the issue simply lets Satan have more of a foothold.

So, now that I think about it, a lot of times I am also not confessing my sin!

1 John 1:9 says, "If we confess our sins, he is faithful and just and will forgive us our sins and purify us from all unrighteousness."

I have to admit that overindulgence is a sin and I have to trust that He will forgive and purify. By not admitting it I am doing what 1 John 1:10 says, "If we claim we have not sinned, we make him out to be a liar and his word has no place in our lives."

I guess what I hadn't addressed is avoiding the subject, ignoring the sin, is just the same as claiming that I haven't sinned!

Thank you, again, Lord, for a new understanding from Your Word today. May I apply it through the day. Please help Sam as she comes off a day of fasting to be moderate with food and immoderate for You. Please be with me and Michelle (I think?) as we seek You rather than food today. I love You, Lord. Your Child, Erin.

Thanks Erin!

Wow...did I need to hear that. It encouraged me so much! Today is my fasting day, and of course I didn't rest well last night, and therefore, only got about 3 hours of sleep and overslept this morning. So, I haven't done my study yet, but am fasting anyway. Do you think Satan knew I was going to fast today? :) I've already been met with some battles of will...of my own, but God is showing Himself faithful. Thank you Lord!

A Marathon

When I first started running this is how I started:

I literally began by jogging for 5 minutes. I would run for 2:30 one way and then jog back. Starting at such a small increment made it easier to accomplish my goals. I didn't just wake up one day and say, "I think I'll run 26 miles."

I even had a chart that I checked off as I completed each workout. If I looked ahead, I would feel overwhelmed that soon I would be jogging 10 miles . . . 15 miles, etc! But if I looked at the week I was on, I was confident. Last week I ran 2 miles. This week I'm supposed to go for 3 miles. I can do that!

So it is with training myself to be a woman of moderation. Small victories are important, just as you said, Sam. And the small victories, if consistent, can and will lead to larger victories!

Thank you God, for last night. I was planning and plotting through the evening that once I had completed a few household tasks I would "reward" myself with . . . I didn't know what, but I was plotting some type of pantry raid. Thank you for that still, small voice whispering to me as I was just about to head to the kitchen, 'You don't need that. What you need is Me and what you need to do is go to bed and rest.' God, thank you for the strength you gave me to obey. That small victory was like a 5 minute jog. I want to be a woman of moderation - I want to reach that goal, but I'm beginning to understand that it's the small things that I obey You in that will lead me to my ultimate destination.

Small Victories!

Today was a bit easier to rise and do my study. God gave me a full night's sleep...I didn't wake once...until 4:40 a.m. That is so rare for me...I normally am up 2-4 times a night going to the bathroom, etc. But not last night! Thank you God!

I had some small victories yesterday, and although small, I want to make sure I give God the glory! "Small" is the one thing I don't want to overlook, because that is SO what Satan wants me to do. It is those "small" things that lead us away from the Lord, and ends up chaining us to bondage. I've been made aware that it is the "small" things that get me rolling down the hill of depression-not the big things. Satan does not come and ring my door bell and say, "I'm here...can I come in?"So I am praying for more small victories today...reminding myself that every time I say no Satan, I am saying "yes" to God. And every time I say yes to God, my communication with Him is getting better and better.

* Lord, thank you for this quiet morning. Thank you for a great night's sleep...you know how important that is to me, physically and emotionally. Thank you for caring for our whole being...physically, emotionally, and spiritually. Thank you for the small victories yesterday, and I ask that you allow more today. Help me to walk worthy of those...taking one step at a time... I know Satan wants me stagnant, and convicting our hearts, allowing us to hear you, and then giving us the strength to obey are all steps toward glorifying you. Help us do that today...for I know that "whom much is given, much is required." Thank you for loving us!

As a footnote: I am going to change my fasting day to Wednesday instead of Thursday. It seems to work better with my schedule. I am home on Wednesdays with extra kids and I am gone on Thursdays. I really think God wants me to honor Him here at home first. I know that may not make sense to anyone, but for me it does.

A New Month

Good for you, Sam, to be on Week 3.
Sigh. I just completed Week 1 today, but I too am preparing to fast this week and to study week 2 all the way through. I look forward to having friends fasting from food to feast on the Lord with me! Thursday, right?

Dear Lord,
Thank you for friendships and accountability. Thank you for your grace. Be with all of us as we begin the busy Christmas season. Of all times, we should be feasting on you over Christmas treats. Keep that in the front of our minds and please give us the continued willingness to obey and worship you each day in this study and throughout the day on Psalms. I love you Lord with all my heart, soul and mind. May I show you that through my actions today.
Your child, Erin

Come Play

It is 5:51 a.m. The Lord woke me at 4:57 and asked me if it was time to meet with Him? I'm still amazed that He didn't tell me....but asked me. I felt as if He were a child asking me to make the time to sit and play with Him. I was saddened that I struggled with staying in bed and telling Him, "not right now, I am too tired." I so wish I could say that it was an attitude of joy that made me do my study this morning, instead of an act of obedience...only doing it because I know I am supposed to.

I did Week 3, day 1 today...preparing for a fast this week. Oh, how I needed it after this weekend. I find it a little more than suspicious that we over-stuff ourselves on the day we set aside to give Thanks to God. "Thanksgiving" is so entangled in sin! A day that we are reminded to give thanks for everything is the day that the world looks to indulge. ...I look to indulge. Aghhh, so here I am again Lord, asking for forgiveness, and giving thanks to you for loving me in spite of myself.

Lord, speak to me in ways that I understand, and then give me the WILLINGNESS to obey. I do love you, but help me love you more. I believe, but help my unbelief. Help me to focus on you today...not my list of things to do. Help me to focus on WHY I am making meals for others and not on the meals themselves. Help me work through this depression I find myself in, and thank you for opening my eyes to my lack of "doing my part" with this struggle. Be with Michelle and Erin and whatever is before them today. Thank you for my friends who are willing to walk beside me and love me, no matter what. May you bless them today in a way that they know beyond a shadow of doubt, that it is YOU. And thank you for gently asking me to come play this morning.

Happy Thanksgiving

Sam, I just ready your post...I, too, fought to get out of bed this morning. I wish I could say that I got up because God was telling me He wanted me to come play with Him. I just knew that if I didn't get up to do what I know I need to do, I would be denying myself any hope of hearing God talk to me. Perhaps the same thing, just not as personal.

We just got back from our holiday weekend. We go out to Tim's grandparent's farm where we are on gravel roads and have no cell service, no internet service and we're 1/2 an hour from town. It's the modern day sticks, but I love going. Unfortunately my allergies were in rare form and I couldn't breathe the whole time I was there. I don't think I've used my inhaler so much, ever. But, we're back and I'm ready to get into the groove again. Yes, I took a "vacation" from getting up. The down side to that is that I never thought about the study the whole weekend.


I made Fannie Mae Fudge while I was there...somewhat of a mistake. We never got more than half way through the fudge, but still, I was visiting the pan all the time. While we are at the farm, there is nothing but good "farmer" meals. For breakfast we are usually on our own. I will make biscuits and gravy one morning for everyone, but the rest is up to us. However, lunches and dinners are always fairly big. The point is that we eat and we eat well. Except for the biscuits and gravy, I do believe I did well on self control...and that darn fudge.


Erin, how are you doing?


Sam, how are you doing?


Girls, what week are you on? I am getting ready to start week 3 tomorrow. Should I stop and wait? I'd like to be caught up with you guys. For now, I will just do week 2, day 5, "Come, All Who Are Thirsty" and the passage is Isaiah 55.

The waters of God are free. He says, "Come, all who are thirsty..." its free. I wanted to drink of God this morning and found myself, my mind, all over the place.

He says, "Incline your ear to Me and listen that you may live."

"Seek the Lord while He may be found. Call upon Him while He is near."

Like precipitation falling to earth waters the earth and allows for things to grow, eventually providing food for us, God's Word doesn't return void to Him. It rains on us allowing us to produce fruit and grow. If we do not respond to God's Spirit, soon it will be hard to hear Him and hard to find Him.

• God, I so want to hear your voice regularly and I know that it's because I ignore you often that I don't hear you as much. Forgive me of that. Talk to me today. Talk more to Sam and to Erin. Don't let us fall to the sin of food so much that we are overrun by it and only hear it and not you. Thank you for Erin and Sam and what their friendships mean, but don't let us be more concerned about these earthly friendships that we don't listen for you, best friend of all. Thank you for loving us when we love other things. Help us to do what's right and master the sin before us.

Come, all who are thirsty

You know, today my heart is heavy. I am sad and I am going to send out a request here, instead of doing today's study lesson. I understand that with this being an open blog, there may be readers out there who have passed us by and grunted in disgust at what we write; what we believe. They may even mock Christians and have complete disregard for all things of God. There are many reasons people are that way.
First and foremost is simply because we are all sinners. Sin does some crazy stuff. We are born sinners and many of us are so lucky to be chosen into God's family. Secondly, Some of us are born into Christian homes and many of those homes are strong for the Lord and always remain in Him. Unfortunately not all do. In fact, to those cynics out there who think that Christians and preachers are always dabbling in extra affairs, you have seen what sin can do firsthand; you just thought Christians and preachers were immune.
When you are brought up in a strong Christian home, perhaps where your dad is a pastor, it is devastating when your pastor dad falls to sin. PEOPLE, Christianity is not a cure for sin. Christians sin every day and often times are the most prone to temptation. CHRIST is the cure for sin.
I know a family that is going through such a struggle. He was a pastor; talented for God. The kids were fantastic. The marriage seemed enviable. The kids loved their dad. They weren't perfect, but boy did they seem to make it work.
Currently dad is off with another woman from his congregation. Mom is brokenhearted because there seems to be no reason for his leaving. She was truly his helper and followed in his every pursuit. Kids are angry, to say the least. Dad has new kids he's taken on and has forgotten his own.
Guys, sin is terrible. It destroys even the best of lives. I feel I'm about to get up on a huge soap box here of how we as Christians should be ever careful in all that we do. Learn what inappropriate relationships with other men and women look like. Pastors have it hardest of all, I think. Our culture and our trends have made it increasingly more difficult for a pastor to remain pure while he is at the pulpit preaching.
Christian women; good, kind, compassionate, god-loving women sit in the congregation, in front of our pastors and next to our husbands wearing low cut shirts and short shirts and plain ol' sexy clothes. Christian men, protect your wives. Protect yourselves. Protect other men and their wives. How, you say? By being jealous for your wife and her body. She is not a trophy. She is your wife. What beautiful curves she has are yours to see and no one else's. Do you get it?
I am not some scorned wife here who is ticked off because someone caught my husband's eye. I am a sad and disappointed woman who has friends that don't seem to get it. I am a sister and a mom to people who don't get it. In our culture, we cannot be too careful or too modest. The best that can happen is that someones eyes can be spared. The worst that can happen is you may have more layers on that you wanted or you may not get to wear the latest trends in fashion. So what.
We are raising men and women of the future. Men nowadays aren't as strong as they once were and a lot of that is due to Satan using women to wear them down. Often the women are Christians. C'mon ladies, step up to the plate here and fight for your men. Be respectful of them even when they don't seem to care what you wear. Be respectful to your friends and their husbands with how you act and dress. Most importantly, honor God with your body and your mind. Ok, off soap box...
Sin destroys. Christians, we know this. People who wouldn't consider themselves Christians, you know something is off, but perhaps you don't know what. It's sin. It's destroying your family. It's ruining your kids. It's defiled your marriage. It's corrupted your life. It has lied to you telling you that what you are doing "isn't so bad." What are you going to do about it? Jesus Christ is the answer.
If you want to know more, you can ask questions in the comments or you can go here. I don't know if it's the best page to go to, but the diagrams are explained fairly well, I think.
In the meantime, please pray for the family I mentioned. Pray for our husbands, brothers and sons. Pray for our sisters, friends and daughters. Pray for purity in our nation. Pray for purity in our churches. Pray for purity in our homes. Pray for purity in our minds.

• God, we have become so corrupt and we say that it's not so bad. Surely I'm not offending. We all offend and yet we try to justify it somehow. Please give us minds that are aware and hearts that desire to change. Sin doesn't have to defeat us, so please give us the strength to do what's right no matter how alluring the alternative seems to be. The pleasure is only but for a moment but the pain can be forever.

Good Monday Morning!

Oh, I am so behind on this study. I don't have extra kids today, but Caleb is out on Thanksgiving break, so I am trying to have some quiet time with my three kids running around. We allowed them to stay up a little later...hoping they would sleep in a little, but no luck. So with that, I have read, prayed, and tried to focus on God's word in the midst of the loud noises this morning.

I've dropped the ball so badly on this study. I am still on week 1...Less is more. I'm convicted not only of my eating behaviors, but of my sleep habits, etc. I've been made aware of my sleepiness/fatigue caused by my fibromyalgia, and yes, that kicks my butt, but God has also shown me my love for sleep on days to where I have gotten plenty of rest. It was that conviction that got me up and at 'em this morning. Although I slept until 6, I could so easily put in a movie and have the kids lay around for an hour while I dose in and out. I'm actually still fighting that tempting thought as I type. Isn't that terrible? But God reminded me that resting is different than lazyiness, and that I need to get up and begin my day. So with that, I'm off to the shower and then to do laundry. Erin, it is Monday you know. :) Laundry day!!! :) I'm thinking of you guys so much and pray that you have a great day of moderation!

Dear Lord,
Please forgive me of my lazyness. Help me to always listen to my body...not just for when it is truly hungry, but also when it is time to rest. Help me not to give in to either before it is time because I know too much rest isn't good for me either. Help me to understand my firbromyalgia condition and to not confuse those symptoms with symptoms of the devil trying to steal my day. Please continue to speak to us in ways we can understand, and help the 3 of us glorify you with our bodies, but more importantly, with our hearts that drive our actions and attitudes. We love you Lord, help us to love you more...we believe, but help our unbelief.

God's Whisper

Today was an emotionally heavy day (noted why on my personal blog). I've been a Christian now for 22 years-wow, did I just say that? It still amazes me how God can speak to our hearts in the midst of whatever is going on...whether we are deep into worship, or worry, or going shopping, or caring for sick ones, etc...and somehow, you know it is just God. My prayer has been that God speak to me in ways that I understand. And in the midst of chaos-the sounds of Satan trying to fill my mind with other junk while I'm trying to worship-God whispers, and we actually hear Him! How cool is that? Anyway, this morning at our contemporary church service, Paul and I have all three sick kids sitting on the back row. Crayons and papers are everywhere. Cough drop wrappers are everywhere as if the kids thought they were candy. I had a daughter coughing in my face as she rested on my hip--for the whole service, mind you! And our Praise Team was a bit too loud. (boy, I am getting old!) As I am singing a song I have sung many times over, I heard God's voice reveal the words to me...

...Prone to wander, Lord I feel it
Prone to leave the God I love.
Here is my heart Lord, take & seal it,
Seal it for thy courts above.

I have recently seen just how prone I am to wander/wonder from/about God. Even though on days to where I can hear God's voice speak to me...I still fight the flesh to do what I want to do. I wonder why I do that...I guess it is because we are just so full of sin. The kind of sin that makes us prone to leave God all together. If I love God, why am I prone and tempted to NOT do His will? Why have I chosen not to listen to Him with this eating sin of mine? Ahgg...if I could only get all of that to line up!

Lord, thank you for speaking softly in midst of all of the other "voices" calling out to me this morning. Your voice is the Voice of Truth, and I will choose to listen. Help me to fight my flesh, ESPECIALLY when I don't understand why I do those things I do. Help me to hear, STOP, and OBEY. I know you want our obedience more than any sacrifice we could give. Help me to be obedient with a pure heart. Be with Erin and Michelle...help them to listen and obey as well. Thank you for giving me such dear friends...who help me wade through my murky waters, who encourages me to stay out of the puddles, and to love me enough to call my sin, sin.

The Queen of Busy

Okay...Erin, your post got me. I have been so busy with illnesses, kids, dad, family, etc. that I too, have put God on the back burner. It is just another thing I struggle with...ah! So, before starting my busy day of PTA, and doctor appts, and babysitting, I had to confess to God and apologize. It would truly break my heart for my kids to be too busy to spend quality time with me. It makes me wonder how I break God's heart with all of my busyness. They are all good things, and things that need to be done, but I've come to realize that if I can't focus on God throughout the day, my things to do will never get completed...no matter how many hours in the day.

A short blog, very short, but I do have to go...I have to drop the girls off with Jenn, and go to Caleb's Thanksgiving "Pow-Wow" within the hour. Keaton has a doctor's appt at 11:00...she ran a 103 fever last night. I guess after the whole MRSA thing, I'm a little freaked. I know,...hard to believe. :)

Love you guys! Thanks for hanging in there with me and for encouraging me to refocus. Enjoy the snow!!!

Here We Go Again

After the Holy Spirit strongly convicting me yesterday afternoon at my front door (yes, that was through you, Michelle), here I am. Sadly, the last date written in my journal for this study is October 30 and paying attention in any capacity to what I am putting in my mouth ends at about that date too. But today I woke early, which I know is the only time I will truly be able to focus my mind for the day. Thank you, Lord, for giving me the strength to roll out of bed when I really was cozy.

I am still on week one and today I did day 4.

God is my portion!

Psalm 16

Psalm 73:25-27

Oh, God, I confess my distraction and my idolatry of "life" (food, kids, adoption paperwork, etc) over you. You are my portion, God, and You are the only thing that will ultimately satisfy. I thank You for Christian women in my life to come alongside and support me. May I also be a support to them. I pray right now that Michelle and Sam will "taste and see that YOU are good" today. You are so good!

Thanks for persevering through my silence, Michelle. Sam, when we talked the other day I didn't ask how this part of your life is going. Hope to hear from you soon!

Greater is He that is in you

This is the first paragraph of today's lesson taken straight from the book.

• We do indeed have an enemy who seeks to undermine our confidence in God by breathing lies to us, who tells us to put off obeying until "tomorrow" and that the consequences of disobedience won't be severe. Continually he tells us God won't be enough. God doesn't really love us, care for us, or have our best at heart. All lies.
  
  Often, our greatest battles take place in our minds. Satan breathes lies, and we need to be prepared to counteract those lies with truth. Perhaps the greatest lie is that God won't be enough--if we run to Him, we won't really be satisfied. The serpent told Eve she needed more and when she believed him, her fate became as miserable as Cain's. Satan is a liar and the father of lies. He's after you as well. We are at war, and we must have a battle plan, a strategy.

It's hard for us to remember that we are fed lies daily. It's not our bellies that want...it's our souls. We are being lied to in so many ways and perhaps it's just that we lack the confidence in God that He will truly be sufficient. When we are faced with temptation today, we need to fight it with Scripture.

• God will sustain me
• I can cast my cares on Him
• Satan is a liar
• Through Christ I can be content
• God is not being glorified right now

Obviously there is more Scripture that can be quoted back to Satan, but the idea is that we actually do use Scripture. It isn't called a sword for nothing. In and of ourselves, we cannot accomplish anything, but greater is he that is in me that he that is in the world.

• God it is so important that I realize your power in me; that I don't have to give in to the flesh. You created me for your glory. Please give me the strength to glorify you. In all things. I don't want Satan to fool me any longer. I realize that I allow him to fool me and I confess my distrust in you and your word in regards to food. I want to give it to you. I do not want to continue being a slave to my sins and you have won that battle. Win the battle for me too.

Do not be like Cain

Good morning! Has it been a week already? I don't really know what I have been doing. I have been rather tired lately and that plays a big part in whether or not I feel like sitting at the computer, but I didn't realize that so much time had gone by. It's almost scary to realize that it's been a week since I've been in God's Word...and I didn't even know it. I have been doing the eating plan consistently, but not without its cheats. Darn that Halloween candy!

Today I read about Cain in Genesis 4:1-16. Cain and Abel were very similar from the description given. One was a farmer and the other a shepherd and it seemed both were of mind to sacrifice to God. The problem was that Cain either had the wrong heart in regards to his offering, or he knew he wasn't offering right and didn't care. Either way, God didn't accept his offering and Cain got mad. That's where the verse of the week comes in.

• Genesis 4:7-If you do what is right, will you not be accepted? If you do not do what is right, sin is crouching at your door. It desires to have you but you must master it.

God tells Cain how to be accepted and instead of taking kindly to that warning, Cain gets angry and in his sin, he kills his brother. He was devoured by his sin. There is also reference to 1 John 1:7 which is a promise similar to the one in Genesis 4:7.

• 1 John 1:7-But if we walk in the light, as he is in the light, we have fellowship with one another, and the blood of Jesus, his Son, purifies us from all sin.

Cain was warned but didn't heed it. That wasn't wise. He broke fellowship with God and there were consequences. When we don't heed warnings and we give sin a foothold, we can easily be devoured by it. Walk in the light and not only will we have fellowship and we will be purified (accepted) but like Galatians 5:16 says, Walk in the Spirit, and ye shall not fulfil the lust of the flesh.

We have a helper to defeat the crouching sin. We are not expected to go it alone. 1 John 4:4 says that the one who is in you is greater than the one who is in the world. With God as my strength and his Word as my weapon, I can defeat the desire of the flesh that wants to be mindless when eating.

• God, I don't mean to give in all the time. I want to be healthy. I want to be in good shape and quite honestly I want to fit in all those nice clothes I have waiting for me. I need you to make yourself known to me each time I walk in the kitchen. Remind me how much tastier you are than anything and that if I give Satan an inch, he can take over rather quickly and I don't want that! Thank you for loving me, the wretch that I am.
  

A Child of God or a Child of Satan?

First let me finish my post from the other day...

1 John is full of information in its short 5 chapters that shows us that we are more than just drones or puppets to God. Our relationship with him is more than blind compliance or obedience. It is active, or at least it should be. It's just that sometimes we may need to remember that it is because of God's work in our lives that we should be obedient and not that he works in our lives because of our obedience. God doesn't need me. I need him and this book gives many examples of things we would do if we are indeed in him. These things we would do are more of our cooperation with God's power and they can be evidences of our salvation.

Presently I am sitting here trying to gather my scattering thoughts, praying for clarity and understanding. Whenever I go to pray, thoughts and words pour into my mind making it impossible to talk to God. Does that ever happen to you? I hate it and it's frustrating, but God will take it away.

Here is an encouraging thought. Well, at least it is to me. We may never be perfect, but we will still resemble the one who gave us birth, spiritually speaking. If ever I doubt, and you both know I do a lot, it remains true that as the Father is, so is His child. It is not that we don't sin. It's what we do with that sin that tells us who's child we are.

With all this stupid Halloween candy around, I have found myself snacking here and there. They make them so small any more (anyone notice how the fun sized ones are about 1/2 as big as they used to be???). Well with their size I have given myself freedom to enjoy 2 and 3 at a time (sometimes more). Today-right now-I pray that when I do that, when I run to the chocolate, I want to be able to not only stop when I realize what I am doing, but also be able to call it sin and right away confess it, letting Satan know that he cannot have a hold on me. I am not his. Satan, I am not yours!!!

I hope you all enjoyed your fast today. I can't say as I'm enjoying it, but it is challenging me! I am thankful for that. I'd love to hear from you all. I am going to finish and call you now, Sam and see how things are going.

Let His wind fill your sail

Holy cow, we are doing terrible at keeping up with this new blog! I just got done with my 2 weeks of transcripts every day and that was just plain nuts for me! Who knew it would be impossible to do any computer work other that transcripts that whole time?!? Clearly not I.

At any rate, I am done and quite anxious to get back to this study and this blog! I haven't been doing so well and I know Sam, you have had a heck of a time with illnesses at your house. I don't know, have you all been able to keep up with the study? What week are you on? Sadly due to all that's going on here I am only on week 2.

With that in mind I will continue where I left off which is with week two, day one. First off, this week's memory verse is Genesis 4:7 and somehow that truth is hard to swallow. I fully know and believe and have experienced sin crouching at my door. That one is easy to believe. It's the part about being accepted simply for doing what is right. It's simple.

At any rate, the passage for today's lesson is I John chapters 1-5. Here, John is writing to believers and the task for today is to find the recurrent theme of cooperating with God's power and seeing that power become complete in you. It's going to take a while, especially since I am having a hard time focusing my mind this morning. I am everywhere right now just like I was in church yesterday. Man it was such a battle not letting my mind drift to anything and everything yesterday while Steve was preaching. The same thing is going on now, so I am going to get some breakfast and then I will take some time this afternoon or tonight to go in detail to see what I find. I will admit now that I am not very good at this, so we'll see how it turns out!

Have a good day ladies!

My first official blog

While I still haven't taken the time to read all the posts up to this point, I will go ahead and blog. I am thankful for you two and I am thankful that our God is gracious enough to meet me again at the point where I have put food before Him. Stressful and busy times in life make it so easy to ignore Him, when, in fact, it is so important to be in communion with Him during these times! I want to again REPLACE eating when I'm not hungry but just trying to fill that void with feasting on HIM. I want to do that because I hate how I still feel so unsatisified when I try to fill the void with food. I KNOW HE CAN FILL MY HUNGER BECAUSE MY HUNGER IS FOR HIM, I JUST FORGET THAT.

As I read through the Bible with my children, Jackson is always amazed at those Israelites. "They're worshipping idols again!" He shakes his head. He just doesn't understand why they keep doing what isn't working. Here I am shaking my head at myself. I'm running to food again! I am so sorry, Lord. I want to learn to run to you and be satisfied. That is my prayer.

Where oh where has my blogging gone?

I will have to say, I miss being on the blog! Sadly it has been so busy with Elijah having the eye surgery Tuesday and that whole trip and temporarily doing more transcripts (Erin I don't know how you do it), I haven't opened my book since last Thursday and I am feeling it! I will get on soon and I look forward to it, but apparently it doesn't matter since nothing new has been posted since a week ago. Off to do my transcripts, but I will blog by the weekend!

Woo Hoo, I'm on!

It's a miracle! But God has been doing lots of those lately.

Anyway, my dear friends. I'm on.

I'm a little behind, but I'm ready to begin. . .

again. . .

On a personal note...

I am truly thankful for the energy I have today despite waking too early with a headache and feeling completely and totally overwhelmed! I am getting things accomplished (which usually means that I am making more of a mess than when I started...)but I think something is changing in my head and though I am severely outnumbered and need help to do these tasks, I am taking them on with a glad heart because it is not honoring to God being a bad steward of all that He has given us whether it's person, tangible thing or non-tangible thing. With that being quickly blurted out, I am off to get the kitchen cleaned. I hope you ladies are having a good day! So far this blog has been teaching rather than talking, but I think it's been many fold in reasons. This post is just here to say, "I am a real person...see, I'm finally getting around to removing the bologna that has turned a strange color of brown because it's been on the counter since lunch...yesterday!"

Salvation is an event and a process

So, the title should tell all, right?!? Well, it does and yet there's more to say. Today's passage was Matthew 22:1-40, the king preparing a wedding banquet for his son. Well, the parable goes in verses 1-14 that none of the invited guests were showing up and so the king sent out some of his servants to find the guests. It got to the point where some of the servants were being killed by these invited guests. The king got mad and eventually went out and invited anyone and everyone to attend. Thug, homeless, dirty, it didn't matter. They showed up at the wedding and one of the guests didn't have on wedding attire and was kicked out. That's the short version.

Here is the cast:
King-God
Son-Jesus Christ
Invited guests-Jews
Mistreated and killed servants-prophets
Newly invited people-Gentiles
Guest not wearing wedding clothes-unsaved

God is inviting us to Heaven and many people are rejecting Him. Others are mistreating and even killing anyone who is trying to show them the way. Some, like the wrongly-dressed guest, are simply trying to get there on their own. How plainly it is written out in Scripture that we can do NOTHING, least of all gain salvation, of our own doing. Just like I can't save myself, I can't live the Christian life in my own strength. Neither can you.

The only one who can save us is Jesus. He can save us from the wrath of God and He can save us from food. Salvation is both an event and a process. Once I have declared that my faith and trust is in the work of Christ on the cross as my way to heaven, then I must live in such a way to basically demonstrate that grace and mercy to others; to point, in all my thoughts and actions, to the God who saved me, and to give HIM the glory. It's a process. It is conquering little things every day. We need to take hold of that which has taken hold of us, whether it is blogging or eating or scrapbooking or shopping or sleeping or babysitting or special events in life or our pride...if anything-even good things-is taking our attention off of God and His intended purpose for our life, consuming us to be "busy" and therefore putting time with Him on hold, we need to loose that idol, or we stand to lose the true flavor and taste of Him. Isn't God's flavor in our mouths what we want?!?

• God I praise You for Your lovingkindness. It endures forever. Your mercy has reached down to me and Your grace has enveloped me and I am slowly starting to believe that I can taste You and enjoy that taste more than lunch. Who would have thought? I want my body hunger satisfied, but not to the satiating of my soul's hunger. Make my soul cry out for You when I feel like reaching out for something else. It is temporary. You are forever. Thank you for loving me! Thank you for dying for me, knowing full well what I would be. Thank you!

Hunger for God

The beginning of today refers to Mark 4:18-19, a parable of the 4 soils. These 2 verses refer to the thorny soil specifically. The kind of soil that chokes out the Word because of other desires in life. I know that I battle other desires in life, as we all do. I battle "my" time. I battle eating to some degree, but I think that the battle for time has overrun me. These blogs, while good, are addicting and take time. If I'm not careful, they take too much time. I don't want my desire for "my" time to take over any attention that should be focused on God and his Word or it may just choke it out.

Philippians 3:18-19 is the next passage talking about the destiny of people who basically have their bellies as their god. It's all they think about. Is that what I do when I walk around the house just wanting to nibble on something? I am looking to serve my temporary god? These people are called enemies of the cross of Christ. That is a thought that requires much consideration. The implications of allowing a stomach to lead me through life, distracting me from what is good and true is scary.

All this is leading to fasting, which we'll be doing on Thursdays. The goal of a true fast is to increase our hunger for God. I realize a truth in Philippians 3:8 that the loss of a temporary satisfaction is the gain of so much more. Oh that I can retrieve that verse in my mind as I go throughout my day. I really think that it will keep my perspective on the eternal and not so much on that satisfaction I want "right now!"

You guys, remember when I had the "eureka" of how I tell the Holy Spirit "NO" when I go for those seconds sometimes? Well I realize that the thing that's holding me back from fully enjoying the fullness of Christ is that I have for so long been satisfying my "right now" and that also is hushing the Holy Spirit in that I don't feel the urge (or whatever it is) to snack anymore when really, all along the "urge" was a reminder that "I AM." You know what I mean? Either that makes sense or I'm babbling. Let me know your thoughts guys...this is no fun being a monoblog. I think I just heard myself echo.

• Heavenly Father, I don't mean to put my stomach first in life when it means that I am pushing You away. I want You. Thank you for the realizations that You give and just the time I need them. I pray that You will be what we hunger for. When we are tempted to reach for that Coke or Starbucks or whatever our thing is, please remind us that giving in to these temps only prolong our satisfaction in You. I think I have delayed that long enough. Allow us to call it what it is. Sin. Thank you for loving us despite of ourselves.

Is less really better?

Oh boy, this is going to be hard. This morning I read the chapter "Less is More" and am having a hard time believing it! I do agree with the statement that a true woman of moderation is moderate in everything except for love for God and others. Otherwise "too much" is harmful to us.

There were a few passages listed in which "too much" of something was the topic.

Proverbs 20:19 - too much gossip.

• I may not gossip, but I do like to talk. I need to listen more to others instead of sitting behind thinking that I have something important to say.

Proverbs 23:20 - too much eating and drinking.

• I don't drink too much, but the eating too much...well, I'm not doing this study for nothing.

Proverbs 25:16 - too much honey (too much sweets, perhaps?).

• If the idea behind this is too much sweets will make you sick, well that's me, except for the sick part. Well, maybe not physically sick, but spiritually sick if that is what I turn to.

Proverbs 25:17 - too much visiting others (neighbor). I don't totally understand this one.

• The only thing I may offer about this is that you just don't want to wear out your welcome anywhere. I have a family and I need to be committed to it.

Proverbs 25:27 - too much honey and seeking your own glory and honor.

• I struggle a bit, I mean a lot with the latter of these. I hate being the center of attention, but I very much like the fact that someone might think highly of me based on something that I did or said or whatever. Ugh.

Proverbs 30:8-9 - having too much "richness" or too much "poorness."

• We are Americans. We have too much "richness" period. Sure we all have different levels of richness, so I could say that when compared to other Americans, because I don't have any excess, I am poor. But the fact of the matter is that I am rich. The idea with this being bad is that if I am rich, I may start to think that I don't need God. My attention is diverted. That seems to be a problem for many of us.
  

It's interesting to me that these are things that God specifically calls out as things not to do or of people we should avoid that are like this. That means that God is calling for people to avoid me since I am some of the above. That is a sad truth.

Moderate all things but love for God and others. That is my desire, among others, for me and you guys,Sam and Erin.

• God, You say in Your Word that if I open wide my mouth You will fill it. I thank You for Your promises. Thank You for exposing my doubt, but please help me to come to replace that doubt with confidence in You and hope for my future in my sins of overindulging in life and underindulging in You. Forgive me of that and help me to be different. I need to know that You will carry me through this, even if I get scraped up along the way. It is important to me as I know it is important to You. I don't want to want things. I want to want You, and in wanting You, I must start practicing the concept of "Less is More."

Help my unbelief

My weekly gym schedule is MWF for about 45 minutes. It has been a great time, though the past couple of mornings I have been tired and had to tell myself NOT to talk myself out of going. I don't really enjoy exercising, but I love the feeling afterwards that I have. That's probably my Pharisaical tendencies coming out in the personal satisfaction gained in doing what's right and good. Not satisfaction, necessarily in the act of getting healthy, but satisfaction that I could tell someone that I was at the gym doing what's right and good. Silly, I know, but unfortunately I have some pharisee in me. One of my biggest battles in life!

At any rate, that's not what this entry is supposed to be about, though for me all this is linked together of the things that barricade my spiritual growth. Day 2 is titled Physical Hunger versus Spiritual Hunger. I will have to admit that the first time around doing this study, a lot of times I would walk away from the lesson in complete frustration that I was getting nothing out of it.

I started off today by admitting to God that I don't really believe that He will (or perhaps that He can) take away my desire towards food and that if He did that, to give me the wherewithal, or humility I guess it is, to recognize that it was Him and not me. That was a big first step. I need to know, believe and live the truth that food cannot relieve stress or boredom. Only God can.

Seriously, I know there are those of you out there who are thinking, "I just don't get this. Just quit eating. One cookie is enough." I mean, I am not obese, by any means. I am barely overweight for that matter, and I am even somewhat content with where I am physically...somewhat (though I am going to get to pre-baby size again, doggone it). I just can't stand that as a Christian, I turn to a venti iced vanilla latte (with skim milk cuz somehow that makes it better) when I have had a tough day. Now, there is nothing wrong with that on the surface...you have a tough day with the kids and a pleasure for yourself is all you want...the problem with that...the sin in that is not going to God first. Why is food my point man? A major point of this lesson it to recognize the difference between physical hunger (belly growling) and soul hunger (boredom, stress, etc.) and then to believe that God can and will satisfy that soul hunger and that M&M's won't do it. Really.

Part of the lesson today was to read Psalm 81:8-12. The first few verses are great for acknowledgement of idols in my life, but that I already knew. Verse 10 tells me to open my mouth wide and God will fill it. That is what I want to experience fully in regards to food and snacks. To have the faith that He will do what He says He will do. Why is it I can declare His sovereignty in so many areas of my life, but I say that this sweet tooth thing I have is up to me? Somehow He won't take care of that. It takes me to a little saying, "help my unbelief."

Now, I have gone past my 30 minutes that I gave my self to blog before taking my shower, so I need to wrap this up.

• Thank you God for allowing me to push past my pride, even if only for moment, to admit my unbelief to you. Please use that to do a work in me and in Sam and in Erin that only You can do and please allow us to give you all the glory as it is Yours anyways.

Day one on Thursday evening...nice start!

This weeks memory passage is Psalm 34:8-9

Taste and see that the Lord is good; blessed is the man who takes refuge in him.
Fear the LORD, you his saints, for those who fear him lack nothing.

The first thing that the study is asking for is to list one hope that I have as a result of this. For me I suppose it would be to truly be able to acknowledge my soul hunger and to satisfy it properly instead of trying to figure it out on my own as I would typically do. In order to do that we basically have to go to the beginning...the "put off/put on" principle. Put off the old habit and put on a new/good one. In this case it's called the "stop/start" principle. Stop filling voids in all the wrong places and start running to God. That's hard to do sometimes. In a world full of immediate gratification, even we as Christians find it easier to take a quick fix (in my case, chocolate or Starbuck's, etc.) rather than taking time to focus on the true issue which is a yearning for more of Christ.

• God, so often my priorities are wrong and though I hear your Spirit telling me something, I often ignore it, convincing myself that I will do "whatever" tomorrow. I want you to be number one at all times and not just when it seems convenient or when there's nothing better to do or watch on tv. My basic request is that you will change my heart in the areas that remain hard and disobedient. I try to conquer bad eating habits on my own and so far it isn't working. Show me how to submit to your Lordship over that area in my life for I want all I do to bring you glory. I want to taste and see that the Lord is good.

We're off

I got up bright and early this morning only to remember that I hadn't done my transcripts for the week...sorry, Erin. I am on that now and will get one to you today.

As for the study, I need to look for my book. I am sure I didn't get rid of it, so I just need to take a while to look. Dare I ask if you're both going to do the eating plan too? I do believe I will do that again. With my cholesterol being as high as it is, and I still want to lose more weight, I would like to do the "diet" part again, personally, unless we try something together again. Any suggestions?

Ok, before I sign off on this "first post" and in efforts to not make the first entry totally uninteresting, I should tell you something that I have been experiencing lately. Ok, so you both know how in the last study I finally realized that the "still small voice" that had been telling me that I shouldn't eat more of whatever sweet I was having, wasn't my "conscience" but in fact the Holy Spirit...? Right. That big magical revelation...well, anyways, I haven't been listening as often as I should, but for some reason, the last few times I would go for a second helping that I didn't need, the thought, "You're going to die" ran through my head plain as day. Weird, huh? I actually had a conversation about how, "No, surely I won't die if I eat another piece of cake" (does that sound vaguely familiar...Adam and Eve as they are being lied to by Satan himself?). But then again, I wasn't about to find out if there was any truth to the statement (and don't call me Shirley). How utterly stupid would that be? So, as hokey as all that sounds, the last couple of times I was going to over do it on sweets, I was stopped by a still, small voice.

Let's make this round of the study a round that brings honor to God. Let's stop telling the Holy Spirit to shut up and realize the myriad benefits to getting control of these sinful urges. I know many people who may read this will have no clue as to the "urges" that draw some of us to sweets or whatever unhealthy eating habit we have, but we have already learned that the urges are there and that they are really a cry from our soul, hungering to feast on Christ. My prayer for us this time around is that we truly learn to fill the void that we have with the only One who can truly fill it, and stop settling for our opinion of second best!