Where oh where has my blogging gone?

I will have to say, I miss being on the blog! Sadly it has been so busy with Elijah having the eye surgery Tuesday and that whole trip and temporarily doing more transcripts (Erin I don't know how you do it), I haven't opened my book since last Thursday and I am feeling it! I will get on soon and I look forward to it, but apparently it doesn't matter since nothing new has been posted since a week ago. Off to do my transcripts, but I will blog by the weekend!

Woo Hoo, I'm on!

It's a miracle! But God has been doing lots of those lately.

Anyway, my dear friends. I'm on.

I'm a little behind, but I'm ready to begin. . .

again. . .

On a personal note...

I am truly thankful for the energy I have today despite waking too early with a headache and feeling completely and totally overwhelmed! I am getting things accomplished (which usually means that I am making more of a mess than when I started...)but I think something is changing in my head and though I am severely outnumbered and need help to do these tasks, I am taking them on with a glad heart because it is not honoring to God being a bad steward of all that He has given us whether it's person, tangible thing or non-tangible thing. With that being quickly blurted out, I am off to get the kitchen cleaned. I hope you ladies are having a good day! So far this blog has been teaching rather than talking, but I think it's been many fold in reasons. This post is just here to say, "I am a real person...see, I'm finally getting around to removing the bologna that has turned a strange color of brown because it's been on the counter since lunch...yesterday!"

Salvation is an event and a process

So, the title should tell all, right?!? Well, it does and yet there's more to say. Today's passage was Matthew 22:1-40, the king preparing a wedding banquet for his son. Well, the parable goes in verses 1-14 that none of the invited guests were showing up and so the king sent out some of his servants to find the guests. It got to the point where some of the servants were being killed by these invited guests. The king got mad and eventually went out and invited anyone and everyone to attend. Thug, homeless, dirty, it didn't matter. They showed up at the wedding and one of the guests didn't have on wedding attire and was kicked out. That's the short version.

Here is the cast:
King-God
Son-Jesus Christ
Invited guests-Jews
Mistreated and killed servants-prophets
Newly invited people-Gentiles
Guest not wearing wedding clothes-unsaved

God is inviting us to Heaven and many people are rejecting Him. Others are mistreating and even killing anyone who is trying to show them the way. Some, like the wrongly-dressed guest, are simply trying to get there on their own. How plainly it is written out in Scripture that we can do NOTHING, least of all gain salvation, of our own doing. Just like I can't save myself, I can't live the Christian life in my own strength. Neither can you.

The only one who can save us is Jesus. He can save us from the wrath of God and He can save us from food. Salvation is both an event and a process. Once I have declared that my faith and trust is in the work of Christ on the cross as my way to heaven, then I must live in such a way to basically demonstrate that grace and mercy to others; to point, in all my thoughts and actions, to the God who saved me, and to give HIM the glory. It's a process. It is conquering little things every day. We need to take hold of that which has taken hold of us, whether it is blogging or eating or scrapbooking or shopping or sleeping or babysitting or special events in life or our pride...if anything-even good things-is taking our attention off of God and His intended purpose for our life, consuming us to be "busy" and therefore putting time with Him on hold, we need to loose that idol, or we stand to lose the true flavor and taste of Him. Isn't God's flavor in our mouths what we want?!?

• God I praise You for Your lovingkindness. It endures forever. Your mercy has reached down to me and Your grace has enveloped me and I am slowly starting to believe that I can taste You and enjoy that taste more than lunch. Who would have thought? I want my body hunger satisfied, but not to the satiating of my soul's hunger. Make my soul cry out for You when I feel like reaching out for something else. It is temporary. You are forever. Thank you for loving me! Thank you for dying for me, knowing full well what I would be. Thank you!

Hunger for God

The beginning of today refers to Mark 4:18-19, a parable of the 4 soils. These 2 verses refer to the thorny soil specifically. The kind of soil that chokes out the Word because of other desires in life. I know that I battle other desires in life, as we all do. I battle "my" time. I battle eating to some degree, but I think that the battle for time has overrun me. These blogs, while good, are addicting and take time. If I'm not careful, they take too much time. I don't want my desire for "my" time to take over any attention that should be focused on God and his Word or it may just choke it out.

Philippians 3:18-19 is the next passage talking about the destiny of people who basically have their bellies as their god. It's all they think about. Is that what I do when I walk around the house just wanting to nibble on something? I am looking to serve my temporary god? These people are called enemies of the cross of Christ. That is a thought that requires much consideration. The implications of allowing a stomach to lead me through life, distracting me from what is good and true is scary.

All this is leading to fasting, which we'll be doing on Thursdays. The goal of a true fast is to increase our hunger for God. I realize a truth in Philippians 3:8 that the loss of a temporary satisfaction is the gain of so much more. Oh that I can retrieve that verse in my mind as I go throughout my day. I really think that it will keep my perspective on the eternal and not so much on that satisfaction I want "right now!"

You guys, remember when I had the "eureka" of how I tell the Holy Spirit "NO" when I go for those seconds sometimes? Well I realize that the thing that's holding me back from fully enjoying the fullness of Christ is that I have for so long been satisfying my "right now" and that also is hushing the Holy Spirit in that I don't feel the urge (or whatever it is) to snack anymore when really, all along the "urge" was a reminder that "I AM." You know what I mean? Either that makes sense or I'm babbling. Let me know your thoughts guys...this is no fun being a monoblog. I think I just heard myself echo.

• Heavenly Father, I don't mean to put my stomach first in life when it means that I am pushing You away. I want You. Thank you for the realizations that You give and just the time I need them. I pray that You will be what we hunger for. When we are tempted to reach for that Coke or Starbucks or whatever our thing is, please remind us that giving in to these temps only prolong our satisfaction in You. I think I have delayed that long enough. Allow us to call it what it is. Sin. Thank you for loving us despite of ourselves.

Is less really better?

Oh boy, this is going to be hard. This morning I read the chapter "Less is More" and am having a hard time believing it! I do agree with the statement that a true woman of moderation is moderate in everything except for love for God and others. Otherwise "too much" is harmful to us.

There were a few passages listed in which "too much" of something was the topic.

Proverbs 20:19 - too much gossip.

• I may not gossip, but I do like to talk. I need to listen more to others instead of sitting behind thinking that I have something important to say.

Proverbs 23:20 - too much eating and drinking.

• I don't drink too much, but the eating too much...well, I'm not doing this study for nothing.

Proverbs 25:16 - too much honey (too much sweets, perhaps?).

• If the idea behind this is too much sweets will make you sick, well that's me, except for the sick part. Well, maybe not physically sick, but spiritually sick if that is what I turn to.

Proverbs 25:17 - too much visiting others (neighbor). I don't totally understand this one.

• The only thing I may offer about this is that you just don't want to wear out your welcome anywhere. I have a family and I need to be committed to it.

Proverbs 25:27 - too much honey and seeking your own glory and honor.

• I struggle a bit, I mean a lot with the latter of these. I hate being the center of attention, but I very much like the fact that someone might think highly of me based on something that I did or said or whatever. Ugh.

Proverbs 30:8-9 - having too much "richness" or too much "poorness."

• We are Americans. We have too much "richness" period. Sure we all have different levels of richness, so I could say that when compared to other Americans, because I don't have any excess, I am poor. But the fact of the matter is that I am rich. The idea with this being bad is that if I am rich, I may start to think that I don't need God. My attention is diverted. That seems to be a problem for many of us.
  

It's interesting to me that these are things that God specifically calls out as things not to do or of people we should avoid that are like this. That means that God is calling for people to avoid me since I am some of the above. That is a sad truth.

Moderate all things but love for God and others. That is my desire, among others, for me and you guys,Sam and Erin.

• God, You say in Your Word that if I open wide my mouth You will fill it. I thank You for Your promises. Thank You for exposing my doubt, but please help me to come to replace that doubt with confidence in You and hope for my future in my sins of overindulging in life and underindulging in You. Forgive me of that and help me to be different. I need to know that You will carry me through this, even if I get scraped up along the way. It is important to me as I know it is important to You. I don't want to want things. I want to want You, and in wanting You, I must start practicing the concept of "Less is More."

Help my unbelief

My weekly gym schedule is MWF for about 45 minutes. It has been a great time, though the past couple of mornings I have been tired and had to tell myself NOT to talk myself out of going. I don't really enjoy exercising, but I love the feeling afterwards that I have. That's probably my Pharisaical tendencies coming out in the personal satisfaction gained in doing what's right and good. Not satisfaction, necessarily in the act of getting healthy, but satisfaction that I could tell someone that I was at the gym doing what's right and good. Silly, I know, but unfortunately I have some pharisee in me. One of my biggest battles in life!

At any rate, that's not what this entry is supposed to be about, though for me all this is linked together of the things that barricade my spiritual growth. Day 2 is titled Physical Hunger versus Spiritual Hunger. I will have to admit that the first time around doing this study, a lot of times I would walk away from the lesson in complete frustration that I was getting nothing out of it.

I started off today by admitting to God that I don't really believe that He will (or perhaps that He can) take away my desire towards food and that if He did that, to give me the wherewithal, or humility I guess it is, to recognize that it was Him and not me. That was a big first step. I need to know, believe and live the truth that food cannot relieve stress or boredom. Only God can.

Seriously, I know there are those of you out there who are thinking, "I just don't get this. Just quit eating. One cookie is enough." I mean, I am not obese, by any means. I am barely overweight for that matter, and I am even somewhat content with where I am physically...somewhat (though I am going to get to pre-baby size again, doggone it). I just can't stand that as a Christian, I turn to a venti iced vanilla latte (with skim milk cuz somehow that makes it better) when I have had a tough day. Now, there is nothing wrong with that on the surface...you have a tough day with the kids and a pleasure for yourself is all you want...the problem with that...the sin in that is not going to God first. Why is food my point man? A major point of this lesson it to recognize the difference between physical hunger (belly growling) and soul hunger (boredom, stress, etc.) and then to believe that God can and will satisfy that soul hunger and that M&M's won't do it. Really.

Part of the lesson today was to read Psalm 81:8-12. The first few verses are great for acknowledgement of idols in my life, but that I already knew. Verse 10 tells me to open my mouth wide and God will fill it. That is what I want to experience fully in regards to food and snacks. To have the faith that He will do what He says He will do. Why is it I can declare His sovereignty in so many areas of my life, but I say that this sweet tooth thing I have is up to me? Somehow He won't take care of that. It takes me to a little saying, "help my unbelief."

Now, I have gone past my 30 minutes that I gave my self to blog before taking my shower, so I need to wrap this up.

• Thank you God for allowing me to push past my pride, even if only for moment, to admit my unbelief to you. Please use that to do a work in me and in Sam and in Erin that only You can do and please allow us to give you all the glory as it is Yours anyways.

Day one on Thursday evening...nice start!

This weeks memory passage is Psalm 34:8-9

Taste and see that the Lord is good; blessed is the man who takes refuge in him.
Fear the LORD, you his saints, for those who fear him lack nothing.

The first thing that the study is asking for is to list one hope that I have as a result of this. For me I suppose it would be to truly be able to acknowledge my soul hunger and to satisfy it properly instead of trying to figure it out on my own as I would typically do. In order to do that we basically have to go to the beginning...the "put off/put on" principle. Put off the old habit and put on a new/good one. In this case it's called the "stop/start" principle. Stop filling voids in all the wrong places and start running to God. That's hard to do sometimes. In a world full of immediate gratification, even we as Christians find it easier to take a quick fix (in my case, chocolate or Starbuck's, etc.) rather than taking time to focus on the true issue which is a yearning for more of Christ.

• God, so often my priorities are wrong and though I hear your Spirit telling me something, I often ignore it, convincing myself that I will do "whatever" tomorrow. I want you to be number one at all times and not just when it seems convenient or when there's nothing better to do or watch on tv. My basic request is that you will change my heart in the areas that remain hard and disobedient. I try to conquer bad eating habits on my own and so far it isn't working. Show me how to submit to your Lordship over that area in my life for I want all I do to bring you glory. I want to taste and see that the Lord is good.

We're off

I got up bright and early this morning only to remember that I hadn't done my transcripts for the week...sorry, Erin. I am on that now and will get one to you today.

As for the study, I need to look for my book. I am sure I didn't get rid of it, so I just need to take a while to look. Dare I ask if you're both going to do the eating plan too? I do believe I will do that again. With my cholesterol being as high as it is, and I still want to lose more weight, I would like to do the "diet" part again, personally, unless we try something together again. Any suggestions?

Ok, before I sign off on this "first post" and in efforts to not make the first entry totally uninteresting, I should tell you something that I have been experiencing lately. Ok, so you both know how in the last study I finally realized that the "still small voice" that had been telling me that I shouldn't eat more of whatever sweet I was having, wasn't my "conscience" but in fact the Holy Spirit...? Right. That big magical revelation...well, anyways, I haven't been listening as often as I should, but for some reason, the last few times I would go for a second helping that I didn't need, the thought, "You're going to die" ran through my head plain as day. Weird, huh? I actually had a conversation about how, "No, surely I won't die if I eat another piece of cake" (does that sound vaguely familiar...Adam and Eve as they are being lied to by Satan himself?). But then again, I wasn't about to find out if there was any truth to the statement (and don't call me Shirley). How utterly stupid would that be? So, as hokey as all that sounds, the last couple of times I was going to over do it on sweets, I was stopped by a still, small voice.

Let's make this round of the study a round that brings honor to God. Let's stop telling the Holy Spirit to shut up and realize the myriad benefits to getting control of these sinful urges. I know many people who may read this will have no clue as to the "urges" that draw some of us to sweets or whatever unhealthy eating habit we have, but we have already learned that the urges are there and that they are really a cry from our soul, hungering to feast on Christ. My prayer for us this time around is that we truly learn to fill the void that we have with the only One who can truly fill it, and stop settling for our opinion of second best!