Come Play

It is 5:51 a.m. The Lord woke me at 4:57 and asked me if it was time to meet with Him? I'm still amazed that He didn't tell me....but asked me. I felt as if He were a child asking me to make the time to sit and play with Him. I was saddened that I struggled with staying in bed and telling Him, "not right now, I am too tired." I so wish I could say that it was an attitude of joy that made me do my study this morning, instead of an act of obedience...only doing it because I know I am supposed to.

I did Week 3, day 1 today...preparing for a fast this week. Oh, how I needed it after this weekend. I find it a little more than suspicious that we over-stuff ourselves on the day we set aside to give Thanks to God. "Thanksgiving" is so entangled in sin! A day that we are reminded to give thanks for everything is the day that the world looks to indulge. ...I look to indulge. Aghhh, so here I am again Lord, asking for forgiveness, and giving thanks to you for loving me in spite of myself.

Lord, speak to me in ways that I understand, and then give me the WILLINGNESS to obey. I do love you, but help me love you more. I believe, but help my unbelief. Help me to focus on you today...not my list of things to do. Help me to focus on WHY I am making meals for others and not on the meals themselves. Help me work through this depression I find myself in, and thank you for opening my eyes to my lack of "doing my part" with this struggle. Be with Michelle and Erin and whatever is before them today. Thank you for my friends who are willing to walk beside me and love me, no matter what. May you bless them today in a way that they know beyond a shadow of doubt, that it is YOU. And thank you for gently asking me to come play this morning.